My issue is how so many people have twisted positive thinking into yet another way to torment themselves.
I can't tell you how many times I have expressed an emotion that has come from anger or sadness or frustration, etc., and the response I have received is: "Don't think about that. Just think positive."
And, for what I would estimate to be almost two decades now, that response has always disturbed me. But I have never been able to clearly explain why, other than that it’s because it's an obnoxious response.
Here's why I think it's wrong:
If you obsess over only thinking positive thoughts for fear that negative thoughts cultivate, well, negativity, then you're setting yourself up for a vicious cycle of repression and guilt.
The trick when you're upset or angry isn't to deny those feelings, or stuff them down, or manically think happy thoughts, i.e. the Pollyanna response.
It dishonors you. If all you thought were happy thoughts, you wouldn't be a real person. Or at least a person I'd be interested in talking to.
The people I admire most and most wish to be like are the ones who have faced down their demons—the ones who are brave enough to look at their darker thoughts and feelings without feeling the need to deny they even exist. That you can look into the darkness and still manage to rise up out of it, no matter how many times it surrounds you, there is a skill and ability that deserves celebration.
We need more balance. We need to accept that not all of our emotions will be joyous ones, and more importantly, we need not punish ourselves for it. It's what makes us complex creatures.
So yes, positive thinking is great. And a positive outlook can make all the difference in the world. But that's only part of the answer. Until we acknowledge and reconcile both our darkness and our light, we won't be at peace.
Article originally posted on All Bodies Rise and the VM Blog.
Olga Navia is a certified yoga instructor and the founder of All Bodies Rise. She also writes constantly. These types of musings are often the result. For more, check out her blog at allbodiesrise.blogspot.com.