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Facebook Etiquette 101

Learn the basic rules of engagement or run the risk of getting yourself unfriended by those with better manners.

Written By: Soraya E. Navia
Date Posted: 7/17/2009
Number of Views: 2283

Readers cheered her stand against unruly, ill-mannered IMers, and now VM’s resident “Gum Goddess,” and the youngest of our bunch,is back with some helpful tips on how not to become that person on Facebook who has everyone on the verge of doing the Facebook slap-in-the-face—pushing the “unfriend” button.

Facebook.

What exactly is Facebook, you ask? For the few unitiated left, Facebook is an addicting, distracting, necessary evil thing of a social networking website. But like with many other online “things,” as bothersome as Facebook can be, it is also a useful, oftentimes wonderful, tool capable of bringing you endless hours of friend connections, enjoyment, and nonsensical, time-wasting fun.

And just like instant messaging (check out AIM Etiquette 101), Facebook also brings along its fair share of annoying habits and ridiculously inexcusable social faux pas.

Here are a few of my observations that could potentially save you and possibly others (in your list of 600+ friends) from making these very mistakes:

The Awkward Conversation Starters
You know the ones. They’re the people who always have something trivial to post on your wall, like “hey.” Not only is this awkward, it’s also a waste of wall space. With the new Facebook homepage, all of your friends can see the conversations you’re having, and such exchanges will only leave them scratching their head, too. If you want to know how someone is doing, either IM them or send them a private e-mail. Don’t be awkward about life.

The Lazy Post Commenters
I have no patience for lazy people. Either you make an effort, or I won’t. On Facebook, they are the following: I’ll post something on their wall, and they will comment on it…right back on their wall…instead of repaying the courtesy I paid them and reposting something on my wall. Not only do I look like a loser with no life, but I also look like I’m talking to myself. So new rule: You are only allowed to comment on statuses, pictures, videos, and links. Don’t comment on wall posts!! Just don’t. And I don’t want to hear the excuse that if Facebook allows for it, then it must be okay. Believe me, it’s not. I hate it. Everyone hates it. So why make the world angry?

The Jerks
We’ve all heard the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” Well, guess what? This still applies when you’re online. The jerks are people who are consistently rude, obnoxious, and try (to no avail) to be funny. These people are also the ones who desperately want, and would actively protest for, a “dislike” button. We all already have enough going on in our lives, and we certainly don’t need a Facebook jerk to say something stupid and make it any worse. If your comments are rude, then just keep them to yourself. There’s a difference between being witty and just plain mean, and believe me, if your actions match the description above, you’re most likely the least clever of us all.

The Grammatically Incorrect Humans
These people make me laugh. Do they realize how silly they sound?

Exhibit A: John Smith is OMG I LIKE ICE CREAM!

Yeah. That sounds extremely silly. You should either leave the “is” there and construct a grammatically appropriate sentence to follow, or, if that requires too much of a thought process, then take “is” out and swap it for a word that makes sense.

Exhibit B: John Smith REALLY LIKES ICE CREAM, OMG!

Much bettterrrrrrr :]

Profile Picture Clones
I can’t tell you how many people have the same exact profile pictures. They either have the peace sign up and a cheesy smile, or they’re in a bathing suit. Don’t do either, please. EVERYONE has these profile pictures. Just be original! OMG, and PLEASE do not take pictures of yourself in a mirror and make it your profile picture. I’ve seen it too many times. We’ve all seen it too many times. The world has enough pictures of you in the mirror with your arm outstretched, making the I’m-taking-a-picture-for-Facebook face. Yeah. You know the one.

If you relate to any of the above categories, please, for the sake of all that is good and just in this world, change your ways. Just because Facebook connects you with your friends does not give you permission to aggravate them with poor online etiquette.

Be original. And remember, it’s just a social networking site. Have fun with it!!

- Gum Goddess -

P.S. Now that you know what not to be, try this instead:

The Perfect Facebookers
I LOVE these people. They are truly themselves and are just happy to have so many friends. Live on perfect Facebookers…live on

Article originally posted on the VM Blog.

Soraya E. Navia, or “The Yayster” as people call her, is quite amazing. A soon-to-be sophomore in high school, she finds the time for theatre, dance, piano, photography, writing, counting how many licks it takes to get the center of a lollipop, and managing a social life. She carried a water bottle around before it was considered cool, and, on occasion, she tends to spontaneously combust. Soraya can’t imagine life before the invention of an iPod or digital camera. For being a fast talker, witty thinker, clumsy human, and smiley face, Soraya is pretty flipping awesome. Read her gum reviews, or send her an e-mail at soraya@vigilantmonkey.com, and she’ll love you forever…or not. Her favorite color is green. In her spare time, Soraya can be found redecorating her room, bursting out into song, attempting to fly, and often achieving that goal.



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