Dear Frustrated,
Yes, you’re right—it’s rude (and lazy!) to consistently ignore e-mails or to take a millennium to answer.
It’s a complex issue. Maybe your friend is raising a family, works a 70-hour week, and is simultaneously building a castle. Who knows!
But, regardless, I have a hard time believing that anyone is “too busy” all the time. I am confident that even Anderson Cooper, who is often in jungles and mountains saving the Earth, still responds to his friends’ emails. Maybe not as often as they would like, but I bet he still makes the effort. Because he’s wonderful.
But I digress.
No matter what excuses she gives you, her actions show that you’re pretty low on her priority list. If your friend wanted to engage in conversation with you, either online or in real life, she would make the effort to do so. Her repeated silence is a clear indication of just how much she wants to really invest in your relationship.
I say, take the hint. Don’t send her anymore emails. Find friends who value you and your time on a consistent basis.
Dear Olga,
I sent an email of importance recently, and in the email, I listed three questions that needed to be answered. The person responded, answering only one of the questions. They do this a lot. And it really bothers me. I’m not asking these questions for my health…I’m asking because I need to know the answers! Isn’t it rude to pick and choose what questions you respond to?
- Tired of Asking Questions
Dear Tired,
It is extremely rude to pick and choose which questions out of an e-mail someone answers. It took you time to type out the damn questions in the first place. And now you’ll have to ask the questions again anyway.
In my many different lives, I’ve had jobs that have entailed me communicating with my bosses via e-mail, and I can’t tell you how often they would answer only 25% of the questions in an e-mail. And it wasn’t as if the other 75% were superfluous questions, like, “What kind of candy makes you smile?”
It’s fine if someone forgets to answer a question in an email. We all have done that. But when it’s a consistent, bizarre practice of only answering every other question lobbed at you, then that’s rude, unprofessional and very poor time management.
If it’s your boss, there’s not much you can do, other than keep asking the questions until they are answered. If it’s a friend or associate, highlight the parts of the email they ignored, and re-send it to them.
I say, if they don’t learn to be more attentive with their responses, stop talking to them immediately. Or send each question in a separate email, since they apparently can’t handle more than one question at a time.
Article originally posted on the VM Blog.
One of Olga Navia’s earliest memories is when she was the Angel Gabriel in her elementary school's nativity play. Her role was to stand quietly by the manager with her hands in a prayer position. She was well remembered for this role—but mostly because it was the first nativity play where the Angel Gabriel went after the shepherds who wouldn't shut up during "Silent Night." Even as a child, Olga felt the need to correct people's rude and inconsiderate behavior. For more of her words of wisdom, check out her website at allbodiesrise.blogspot.com.