I'm sure you remember how it didn't register in our minds that the wiser, more experienced people in our lives had probably already gone through the hurdles we were facing. So of course, they had "no idea" what we were talking about or going through because, as my friends would agree, they "just didn't understand." But hey, don't buck the trend, right? I laugh at this now and shake my head knowing all too well that if we had just listened a little more we would have saved ourselves a lot of time and money. And yet, this time and money was “well wasted” because although things might have gone awry, we learned from the journey.
Being a teenager is no easy feat. With all the hormones running amuck inside us as we tried to establish our identity and gain acceptance, it's no wonder we didn't have the time to stop and listen to what really mattered.
For me, it wasn't until I bought my first car out of college, six months down the road into payments, that everything clicked. Initially, I had told myself that with a guaranteed job all the way up in the great Garden State and a recent graduation under my belt, the least I could do for myself was get a brand new car! Right? I mean, why not? The student loans were not going to kick in until the end of the year, and I had no other bills to pay or responsibilities (yet). So, I went car shopping. Dealership after dealership, I gathered all the necessary information I needed about every model I was looking at. Looking back, it was my "mini obsession," and then, it happened. Mitsubishi rolled out their "no money down, no payments until…" Well…until six months later, when I had it ALL figured out. I called my father for support to ensure that I wasn't getting the wool pulled over my eyes, along with his affirmation that this was a good move on my part. Of course, once at the dealership, my father took the cook’s tour of the showroom and suggested I look at a different car, with a slightly less appealing look, with a dramatically lower sticker price, with a slightly better position in Misti’s five-year plan, and all I thought was "no." The car he suggested was far from the dream (the little obsession) I had grown so indignant about.
So I finally got my way.
And I ended up signing my life away (practically) and beginning the long and hard financial courtship that my father had tried to help me avoid. Six months later, when the student loans kicked in, the car payments bled my paychecks, not to mention the car insurance, weekly gas bills, tolls, living expenses, and just about everything else, I finally realized my dad was right from the start. Eventually, I was able to set my finances in order. And around that time, I had my awakening. If I had only listened to my dad, I could have lived comfortably and avoided all the stresses and headaches as a victim of the real world's empty promises, lures, and gimmicks, from a man who's been there, done that.
Moving forward, even though I had always stopped to consult with my dad, I now wholeheartedly embrace his opinions and suggestions, knowing that somewhere deep within he always reverts back to his own personal stories when helping me with mine. He is a source of wisdom for me to digest and learn from. And still, even though he offers his suggestions, he always leaves me to make the final decision.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I admitted to him that I realized that had I followed his advice, I would have saved myself a lot of grief. I wanted him to know how grateful I was for him.
Hopefully, as we get older, we will be able to continue making sound decisions, and some day, we, too, will lead by example and act as the guiding hand just like our fathers and mothers did for us. One day, I hope I will be able to do the same for my children, every step and stumble along their way.
Misti is currently saving up her pennies for something worthwhile.