But, on occasion, there are newcomers to the cooking gadget circuit that really do demand a closer look. For your perusal, here is just a sampling of the latest kitchen wizardry. You be the judge of their worth. Most are simply fun, creative tools and accessories, others might be regarded as pure genius, and yet others, well, their purpose is still difficult to make sense of…
The Egg Cuber
Apparently, someone decided that the irregular, spherical shape of eggs just wasn’t doing it for them anymore, and it was time for a makeover. Either that, or they were just tired of their hard-boiled lunch rolling away. The Egg Cuber presses still warm, soft, or hard-boiled eggs into a three-dimensional box shape. Why cubical eggs you ask? Well…why not? It’s certainly different. It’s even been featured on The Rachael Ray Show where she gets cube-crazy trying to find a purpose for the “groovy” little implement. The audience seemed to like it—I can just see them envisioning their next dinner party with friends gathered around canapés of tiny square toasts topped with those amazing slices of cubical egg, raving, “How did she do that?” The mold does make the plain-old egg a little more aesthetically interesting, to people at least—not so much for a chicken.
As far as molding eggs into different shapes, it doesn’t stop with cubes. The Japanese have casts of many different figures like these that transform hard-boiled eggs into animals, cars, hearts, and stars. The fun-shaped eggs are usually put into kids’ bento boxes or Japanese-boxed lunches.
Onion Goggles
Everyone hates the distracting burn of onion tears; one slice into the smelly bulb and you’re crying all over the place. With Onion Goggles, foam lining on the inside of the rims seals around the eyes to protect you from the irritating vapors that signal the waterworks to turn on. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: tearing up over a pile of onions or wearing special goggles to prevent from crying in the first place. Personally, I’d rather fight through the tears, although when trapped in a cloud of onion’s evil vapors, my desperation may lead me to wish I had worn a pair of the protective eye shields. One must feel kind of silly when wearing the goggles in the kitchen alone, but if it helps—go for it! As for a professional chef wearing a pair of these? I would hope that they’re joking, and even if they weren’t, I would laugh at them anyway.
To avoid tears before you buy a pair of Onion Goggles, here’s a tip: Use a good quality sharp knife. A sharp blade won’t damage as many of the onion’s cells which will help reduce the amount of tear-educing gas emitted. If you’re serious about cooking, you should worry about purchasing and taking care of a quality life well before looking at any “must-have” kitchen gadgets.
The Homo Sapien Multi-Purpose Kitchen Tool
Any caveman would tell you that a simple rock is one of most versatile tools. Taking its cue from our primitive ancestors, the Homo Sapien Multi-Purpose Kitchen Tool is a throwback to the Stone Age. The sandstone gadget is not much more than a rock on a string, but it can do the work of several kitchen tools: sharpening knives, crushing garlic, grating ginger, grinding herbs like a pestle, tenderizing meat, and whatever other use you can find for it. If only cavemen knew that they could market and sell their rocks for up to $80! Although the Homo Sapien promises many different uses in one, you can probably buy all of the tools it takes the place of for around the same price. You might be better off getting real pre-historic and just finding yourself a rock. Hey, it’s a recession.
Menacing Knife Blocks
These eye-catching knife blocks make a statement while offering distinctive style and functionality to any countertop. The inventive designs are a fun alternative to traditional wooden and plastic blocks, allowing you to forgo the norm and make a fun, original display of this kitchen necessity that won’t go unnoticed.
“The Ex” Voodoo Knife Block, crafted by European designer Raffele Iannello, is fantastically dark and comical. This poor little plastic man, braced to take on your frustrations, comes in a variety of colors and is pierced five times with a chef’s knife, bread knife, slicer/carver, utility knife, and pairing knife.
In similar fashion, the Throwzini Knife Block contains five stainless steel knives and, although cutting it threateningly close, the person in the middle of the block seems to have made out alright compared to the man in the previous. Surrounded by sharp blades, a red man lays tied down onto a tiny wooden spinning wheel, modeling itself after the classic knife-throwing circus acts.
Customized Steak Brander
Who needs crosshatching when you can sear your initials right into a steak? Proud cooks looking to leave a personalized mark on their grilled masterpieces will be anxious to plate up and show off the work of their very own steak branding irons. Singe meat with monograms, patriotic symbols, smiley faces, or college logos. You can even torment the vegetarians at the table with “bite me” or “road kill” designs. Any iron you choose will add a customized finishing touch with whimsical flare to cookout items.
Dress for Dinner Napkins
A solid attempt at decent dinner attire and a great solution for the guy who shows up to the table dressed in an old white T-shirt, Dress for Dinner Napkins are adorned down the center with the print of a tie and are meant to be tucked into the neck of a tee. Once fastened into its rightful position, they make it appear as though, like Superman in a telephone booth, the fashion-senseless man has suddenly changed out of his careless clothing, exerting a mere effort to appear somewhat acceptable. Clearly, this product is not to be taken too seriously. Once guests catch a glimpse of the clever napkins, it will surely get the table talking. It’s an ingenious, funny idea that will draw a few laughs from the comedian—or tool—in your life. Dress for Dinner Napkins come in packages of 20 with four different tie designs.
Herb Savor
Seasoning a meal with fresh herbs can make all of the difference. To get the most flavors out of your aromatic plants, it’s important that they retain the life they had the day they were picked. It’s not often that one can use an entire bunch of herbs within a few days, and there is always that sad feeling of waste when reaching into the fridge to find them a week later, soggy, brown, and wilted. Methods to try and prevent the unavoidable, like wrapping them in a damp paper towel, only last so long. The Prepera Herb Savor claims to be the answer to all of your herbal woes, stating that it can prolong the life of herbs, from rosemary to cilantro, for up to three weeks.
As demonstrated on their website, herbs are enclosed in the aerated plastic container of the Herb Savor ,which fits comfortably into a water-filled base, slightly submerging the stems to keep them hydrated and fresh. Whether you’re looking to save those large bunches of parsley sold at grocery stores or prolong the bearings of your summer herb garden, for about $30, you may find the Herb Savor to be a reasonable investment.
Pig Cooking Lid
A silicone lid with a pig face poking through the center—who would have thought such a strange concept could be so useful? Among its multi-faceted talents, this little piggy can be placed on top of a pot or directly over food to help evenly cook ingredients. As your meal heats, steam releases through the tiny nostrils of a pig that appears to be staring up at you with burning loathe as it is either trying to break free from the heat or has simply succumbed to it and is melting away. This gadget can also be used to cover items in the microwave or as a grip to open lids. An amusing and simple tool, I imagine the Pig Cooking Lid would be a welcome addition to kitchens of the easily entertained, kids, and pig lovers alike. It is sold exclusively at the MoMA store as part of their Japan product collection, highlighting lifestyle products from the country.
Peter Petrie Egg Separator
Speaking of expelling things from nostrils, Peter Petrie separates his eggs that way. Caricatured into the face of a funny-looking man who appears to have a really gross cold, this egg separator divides the yolk and white with quite a display. Crack an egg into the “head” of the jar and, while the yolk rests in the nose, the white albumin drips out slowly from the nostrils and into a bowl. It’s helpful for clumsy cooks (with strong stomachs) that tend to break yolks when separating.
Collapsible Chopsticks
Come prepared for sushi at any time with a pair of collapsible chopsticks. Consisting of two parts, the portable utensils are assembled from hollow stainless steel top halves and accompanying wooden tip bottoms that are stored inside. To assemble, just slide the wooden tip out from the stainless steel tube and screw together. When finished, simply clean, collapse, and store in the nylon travel case for next time. Sold at ThinkGeek.com, the site explains that the white ash used to make the wooden tips for these particular chopsticks comes from recycled baseball bats from local teams in Japan.
Although I am not positive as to why someone would need to carry around a pair of chopsticks, they are the very essence of the kitchen gadget—just another cool “thing” that for some will become the most useful tool ever, while the majority of hasty shoppers will try it out once or twice, maybe show it off to a couple of friends, probably forget about it, and then marvel at how randomly and surprisingly it happened to come in handy one day.
Index Chopping Boards
These color-coded cutting boards are a compact, organized, and novel way to prevent cross-contamination. Rather than having to wash one board between dealing with raw meat and ready-to-eat items, Index Chopping Boards by Joseph Joseph kitchenware come in four designated and easy-to-identify colors to alternate between for the proper preparation: red for raw meat, green for vegetables, blue for fish, and white for cooked foods. The boards are stored and labeled like folders in a slim filing unit that won’t take up too much room on counter tops. If there was ever a way to make food safety look cute, this is it.
Marisa Musto is a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America and has worked in kitchens and the food industry for several years. She is currently studying communications at New York Institute of Technology and is editor-in-chief of the college’s newspaper, The Campus Slate.